Thursday, August 22, 2013
The question that people dance around, but rarely ask me directly is, "why now?" What happened that you would choose change now?
The short answer is I don't completely know yet. The long answer is...I'll try to take a stab.
Let's call it a perfect storm, a combination of factors that lead me to realize I needed to take responsibility for every one of my actions. That I needed step up and be a Man!!!
If I kept destroying my body at the same pace, I would be dead in a few years. There wouldn't be a husband for my wife, a father for my kids, a leader of my family. Well, there might be one but it surely wouldn't be me, I couldn't have that. I'm taking my family back before I lose it with my death. You don't see many old really fat guys, I wonder why? But, why now?
Here's a concept that has been completely lost on me for years---
Everything (And, I mean everything!) I put into my body has an effect, be it positive or negative. It sounds so freakin' simple---garbage in, belly out. Struggling with weight is such a visible battle. Failure is always with us. It's a part of life, but carrying it around for everyone to see gets old. But, why now?
In the past I've made myself forget about my dreams, about adventures that I could never have attempted at 530 pounds. I was always trying to convince myself that I was happy where I was, and perfectly content. I'm glad I failed at that. I just got tired on putting those goals on the shelf.
I want to live out, not in. I want to do, not sit at home in my suburban box and watch everyone else. But, why now?
I have always believed that God had a plan for my life. He knew me before I was born, He loves me and He alone is the source of my hope. So, why now? Maybe it's His timing....