Thursday, August 22, 2013

Why Now?

The question that people dance around, but rarely ask me directly is, "why now?" What happened that you would choose change now?

The short answer is I don't completely know yet.  The long answer is...I'll try to take a stab.

Let's call it a perfect storm, a combination of factors that lead me to realize I needed to take responsibility for every one of my actions. That I needed step up and be a Man!!! 

If I kept destroying my body at the same pace, I would be dead in a few years. There wouldn't be a husband for my wife, a father for my kids, a leader of my family. Well, there might be one but it surely wouldn't be me, I couldn't have that. I'm taking my family back before I lose it with my death. You don't see many old really fat guys, I wonder why? But, why now?

Here's a concept that has been completely lost on me for years---

Everything (And, I mean everything!) I put into my body has an effect, be it positive or negative. It sounds so freakin' simple---garbage in, belly out. Struggling with weight is such a visible battle. Failure is always with us.  It's a part of life, but carrying it around for everyone to see gets old. But, why now?

In the past I've made myself forget about my dreams, about adventures that I could never have attempted at 530 pounds. I was always trying to convince myself that I was happy where I was, and perfectly content. I'm glad I failed at that. I just got tired on putting those goals on the shelf. 

I want to live out, not in. I want to do, not sit at home in my suburban box and watch everyone else. But, why now?

I have always believed that God had a plan for my life. He knew me before I was born, He loves me and He alone is the source of my hope. So, why now? Maybe it's His timing....

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